ALOHA!!  In case any of you have forgotten, Betty and I were FORCED to return to Oahu for Nate and Debbie’s wedding on August 3rd.  I had to admit to my daughter-in-law that all of her intricate planning and desire to observe both Chinese and Japanese traditions in she and Nate’s wedding and reception was well worth the effort and stress.  All Betty and I could think was WOW!

     Fortunately for the men in the wedding party, we were allowed to wear Hawaiian shirts instead of tuxedos.  The clothing was much more comfortable in the August climate.  Nate and I, along with Debbie’s dad, Gary, wore maile leis.  Betty and Blanche wore gorgeous purple flower leis (just happened to match Betty’s dress exactly).

     The ceremony was held in a Lutheran Church called Calvary by the Sea.  The church sanctuary was open to the ocean, only steps from the shoreline, so that the congregation looked out on the waves coming towards shore while the ceremony took place.  This location was a compromise between the couple as Nate wanted to be married on the beach and Debbie wanted a more formal and traditional wedding.  The ceremony itself was fairly routine except the couple wrote their own vows.  There was no music, something most of us are used to having at a wedding.

     The reception was really spectacular!  All of the tables had assigned guest seating, hence the absolute need to have RSVP’d.  At the start of the actual reception, the parents of the couple, as well as older aunts and uncles were placed on the dance floor for a solemn Chinese Tea Ceremony.  Each person was served tea by the bride and groom as the couple knelt on pillows before their elders.  After the tea was drank, those being served responded with a red and gold envelope that contained cash in a multiple of the number 9 or some piece of heirloom gold to pass on to the couple’s future children.  This ceremony served to bind the families.  Each parent was now called “mom” or “dad” by both children.

     I originally thought there was going to be a “dragon dance” with fireworks.  There was instead the more traditional wedding reception “lion dance.”  Two “lions” entered the reception hall accompanied by the beating of drums and gongs.  The lions wildly proceeded to the head table where the bride and groom lured the lions with a cane fishing pole with lettuce as the bait.  After one of the lions took the bait, he spat it out.  Then each lion went table to table lured by the guests holding dollar bills.  The responding lion would engulf the guest’s hand in his mouth and remove the money.  Loads of fun for all! 

     The food was awesome!  The head table and parent’s table were served, with the guests proceeding through an elaborate buffet with predominantly  native Hawaiian and oriental dishes.  No chicken frys, mashed taters and ranch dressing were to be found.  The only food I was accustomed to was prime rib.  Everything was very good, including a dab of octopus.  Although the wedding cake was cut, it was not served.  There was a dessert buffet table instead.  The bar, in more mid-western tradition, was filled with good old Bud Light!

     Debbie had two young girls do a hula for the crowd.  The traditional first dance for the couple was a surprise as Debbie sat Nate down and proceeded to dance a special hula for him.  Nate’s cousin, Traci, made the comment “Oh, Nate’s crying again.”  I must say Debbie is indeed very talented, as she showed  quite beautifully how important native dancing had been to her as a child.

      I was also very impressed with Debbie’s attendants and Nate’s groomsmen and best man.  These two are so blessed to have close friends from school days that have remained close friends.  All of Nate’s buds made the long and expensive trip to Hawaii to be there for him on this most special of occasions.
 Betty and I can not say enough good things about Debbie’s extended family.  All of them were so gracious and friendly and they seem to genuinely love Nate.  As Betty and I stood in the receiving line prior to the start of the reception, she remarked that if the guest is older than us they must be “auntie” or “uncle” and if there the same age or younger then they must be “cousin.”

     I have to confess to you all that my heart was stolen by another oriental beauty during our stay.  Her name is Lelani.  Betty and my relationship is safe for now, as Lelani was the 4 1/2 year old flower girl.  Hum!!  When she’s 21 I’ll be 67.  You know, the math just won’t work.  Betty, I guess you are just going to be stuck with me.

Bye for now,

Wes